The Ballerina Who Wouldn't Dance...

For six years I was without a girl. Don't get me wrong, I adore my boys, but sometimes a mommy just craves some pink. I could barely contain myself when she came out sans penis. For almost three years the girl has wore nothing but pink dresses. But sadly, as fate would have it, this little girl likes to play with the boys, like the boys.

Don't get me wrong, she'll wear the clothes all day long. But you better believe she'll come back covered in mud. Bows get ripped out of her hair, and shoes lost in the chaos...but she loves pink and loves to dress up. She even loves to carry purses and wear jewelry. Those assecories, however, can quickly turn into weapons or a hand held device for destruction. Mostly and worst of all, she just won't stay neat and clean.

One could imagine my excitement as the fall registration for dance began being advertised everywhere. I thought, she could so totally be a ballerina! Miss Little Monster was pretty excited too.

Quite unexpectedly, my excitement melted into disappointment when I learned that she missed the cut off age for registration by 29 days. ONLY 29 DAYS! Oh no, could this be true? I would have to wait another year before dance could begin?

For a full two days I searched the Internet for a class some where (anywhere) that would take a two year old who would be turning three during the fall semester.

Then it happened. A small, new dance academy said they would be "overjoyed" to have my little monster....for $70.00 a month. WHAT? This was way more money than little league ever cost...we're only talking one hour of dance per week - 30 minutes ballet, 30 minutes tap. But, it's my girl, and she's worth it. Of course I signed her up.

We then were told it would be an extra $25.00 registration fee, NO PROBLEM. She'd be required to wear pink tights/leotards for around $30.00, NO PROBLEM. And then the shoes...let's just say money money money, NO PROBLEM. We were set and I could hardly contain myself.

Before I knew it, it was the big day! L.M. was dressed and looked pretty freaking cute if I must say so myself. She definitely looked like a ballerina. Did I mention that the academy was 30 miles from my town? Still, NO PROBLEM.

My excitement must have been bubbling over to her, because by the time we pulled into the parking lot she was giggling and and grinning from ear to ear. This was it, I finally was doing something girly with my own daughter. I was so stoked, I wanted to put on ballet slippers as we entered the studio.

I was not prepared for what happened next: disappointment, again. L.M. did not want to dance. She did not want to do anything except for sit and pout and throw things at me for making her come. She yelled at the teachers, rolled on the floor, pushed the other delicate ballerina's out of the way, and made a lot of weird, inappropriate noises. She started refusing to enter the studio, and was becoming pretty disruptive to all the other little girls (who were behaving perfectly, by the way). We were politely told we could get a refund if we wanted to wait one more year for L.M. to get a "tad bit older'.

So, we left, my spirit wounded as I'll have to wait, for now, to see my daughter do something girly. I was so ready to be a stage mother. Maybe I can salvage some money on Ebay with her dance shoes/clothes. Then again...maybe we can do our own recitals at home...weird inappropriate noises and all.