Myth of the Single Sleeping Spouse

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So, as I was reading this story I thought to myself it can't possibly be normal to have different bedrooms - even if you do have young children. After looking online and talking to friends it appears many couples are claiming to sleep in different bedrooms. Ironically, the majority of these people claim children are the number one reason for this nighttime spousal separation. Wasn't it the sleeping arrangements that created the children to begin with?

Listen, my kids have been "young children" for going on eight years now, and I can honestly say my husband and I have never, ever even discussed separate bedrooms. I'm sure he's dreamed of the idea of having some solitude during his slumber, but realistically he knows I'd probably become irate if he mentioned it. And I would.

We spend all day long working - both of us are employed and work outside the home. On a good day we may get one or two quick, necessary phone calls in to each other. Not a lot of time for small talk when you're on someone else's dime. Every rare once in a while we may give each other a flirty text - you know what I'm talking about - but emphasis on the word "rare". That's just the way it goes for us. We are very busy important people...okay, okay maybe just busy.

When our work day is over, our family day begins. Pick up the kids from daycare, go to the grocery store, pick up dry cleaning, go to baseball/football/dance practice, cook dinner, do homework, clean the house (okay, you caught me again, I don't really clean), play with the kids, bathe them, bathe myself and then pass out from exhaustion. Some days are more, some less. But one thing you can always count on - the children.

When we finally put the little devils to bed, do you think I want to hang out in there and sleep with them? No way - have you really ever tried sleeping with a toddler? It's like an open access night club and you are the water/milk/snack bartender. "Mommy - can I have some milk, please?", "Mommy - I need a glass of water.", "Mommy, I'm huuuuungry!", "Pour me another round, lady!" etc. So, I follow the old saying, "Out of sight, out of mind". It works most nights.

And when I finally do get ready for bed, to read, watch t.v., get my groove on (at least 4 times a week thank you very much), I want my husband to be piled in right there next to me. Call me old fashioned, but there is nothing I love more than waking up a 3:00 am to find that I've been drooling, snoring, (and according to the hubbie passing gas), but there's my man, wrapped up in my legs and arms like a pretzel, sleeping peacefully and dreaming of Carmen Electra. It's intimacy on a level only husband's and wife's can experience.

Sure, it has it's downfalls, but that's what makes the juice sweeter. For example, my husband is 6 ft 5 inches. In case you suck at math, that's pretty tall. Our bed is really really short. Physics tells us if the man is longer than bed, his feet will hang off. We prove this theory true every night...so go ahead and take my word for it. I did feel bad for him, always having to sleep half off the bed, so we went down and bought a King Sized bed. WOW - what a fortune we spent, and what a big ass bed we got. He didn't hang off anymore, but we didn't touch any more either. I mean, I would go to sleep next to him and wake up in California - California King that is. I could spread out jumping jack style and still not even fingertip touch him. It was so lonely.

We both agreed that wasn't going to work, so we went back down to a queen. I knew I was loved when he agreed to also get a foot board - one of those sleigh bed tall ones that would prevent anything from going over the end of the bed.

So, now every night I cuddle in the nook of my vertical sleeping husband and hope we get tangled in each other's arm subconsciously. I mean, seriously, who cuddles when they are awake anyway?